FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW NEW YORK — Bender 2028 today proposed universal charging standards, public maintenance access, diversified machine fuel, and long-term investment beyond dirty interstellar energy monopolies.
The candidate praised grid modernization while objecting to any modernization capable of measuring how much power his apartment uses. Staff later clarified that reliability should apply to every resident, not only the person holding the press conference.
No real utility, energy provider, reactor, charging network, or infrastructure system is connected to the campaign website.
“Energy security begins when the lights stay on and the executive minibar remains a critical facility.”
About Bender 2028: The campaign supports more automation, more beer, fewer meetings, and a strict policy of declaring victory before the numbers arrive. Same planet. Better management.
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