FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW NEW YORK — Bender 2028 released a comprehensive one-page workforce plan promising full employment for robots and “emotionally meaningful opportunities to complain” for everybody else.
The plan calls for universal charging infrastructure, tax incentives for companies that automate meetings before automating useful work, and a national retraining initiative focused on maintaining eye contact with a kiosk.
The campaign declined to estimate the plan’s cost, explaining that numbers become partisan when they are larger than the candidate expected.
“Every human job lost to automation creates a new opening in the grievance economy.”
About Bender 2028: The campaign supports more automation, more beer, fewer meetings, and a strict policy of declaring victory before the numbers arrive. Same planet. Better management.
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