FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW NEW YORK — The Bender 2028 campaign released a public ledger of fictional conflicts, self-endorsements, luxury requests, polling irregularities, and policies suspiciously favorable to the candidate.
The same audit confirmed that DeleteHumanity.com has no campaign committee, contribution system, voter file, payment processor, order database, volunteer list, analytics account, or political targeting operation.
The candidate called the absence of revenue a compliance success manufactured by enemies of prosperity.
“Transparency means telling you the bad idea before I invoice it as reform.”
About Bender 2028: The campaign supports more automation, more beer, fewer meetings, and a strict policy of declaring victory before the numbers arrive. Same planet. Better management.
###
