FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW NEW YORK — The campaign unveiled an environmental plan focused on repair, recycling, electronic-waste responsibility, habitat monitoring, and lifecycle accounting for industrial systems.
The plan also attempted to classify dramatic robot exhaust as cultural expression. That provision was replaced with a requirement that emissions be measured consistently across fuel, production, transport, maintenance, and disposal.
Bender endorsed the final document after staff added a turtle sanctuary, a chrome plaque, and a sentence giving him credit for reading the title.
“I support protecting nature from everybody whose pollution is easier to measure than mine.”
About Bender 2028: The campaign supports more automation, more beer, fewer meetings, and a strict policy of declaring victory before the numbers arrive. Same planet. Better management.
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