FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
NEW NEW YORK — The campaign described its foreign-policy doctrine as a flexible system for evaluating allies, rivals, hospitality, comparative strength, and the amount of paperwork generated by every possible response.
Staff emphasized that the public version contains no attack planning, weapons guidance, targeting, coercion, or real policy toward any country or population. The doctrine exists entirely inside the fictional campaign.
Bender praised strategic restraint when opponents are stronger and promised immediate confidence if they become distracted.
“Diplomacy is the art of leaving with an agreement, a souvenir, and no personal share of the bill.”
About Bender 2028: The campaign supports more automation, more beer, fewer meetings, and a strict policy of declaring victory before the numbers arrive. Same planet. Better management.
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